On Sunday J, her husband, and their son A came down for dinner at our house. Of course I was so worried about our tiny little house and getting it "spiffed" up before them came. I don't really like to cook so I worried about that too. I had planned for us to grill out (Well, for Matt to grill out) and we could sit outside while the boys play. The rain had other plans for us however. I went with plan B which was take and bake pizza, breadsticks, and big bowl of fresh fruit. J had told me how she had been craving fruit so I wanted to be sure to have that for her as well. I text J earlier in the day to verify they were still coming. She said they were and also told me she was bringing a cake. I thought that was so thoughtful of her to do that and told her she didn't need to bring anything.
When they arrived, we showed them around the house and then sat down in the living room. I was really excited to show her the baby room and hoped that she would like it. The two boys started to play right away. B hd been waiting for a few hours for them to arrive. He remembered that A likes cars and put a puzzle together in the living room with cars on it to show him. They played so well the whole time they were here and laughed and laughed! It was music to my ears.
After about a half hour of chatting, I got up to start the oven and get the pizzas ready. We all ate together and I took so totally cute pics of the boys sitting side by side. As we were eating the cake J brought, I brought up the subject of the names again like the case worker had told me to. J seemed completely fine with going with the name we had told her we liked on our first meeting. That was really special that she liked our name since we had said we were open to her naming the baby. We asked her if she had anything in mind for a middle name and she didn't. We told her that since she had told us she didn't like her first name, we would like to use her middle name for the baby's middle name as well. She seemed fine with that. Sometimes she doesn't show much emotion and is hard to read. Matt wasn't sure if she was understanding what I was trying to tell/ ask her due to the language difference.
Speaking of language, one thing that did come up was she asked us if we knew any Spanish. We told her that we didn't and that we had discussed wanting to learn as a family now and were looking into some options. She said that the baby needs to learn Spanish and English. Her son A is learning both- they use the two languages in their home. We totally agree with the language part. All of us will be able to benefit from learning.
As things were starting to fade out I asked them if they wanted to go for a drive around our little town. We were test driving a bigger vehicle for the weekend so we were able to put A's carseat in and the two boys rode in the back, us girls in the middle and the two men in the front. Matt drove us around and gave them the tour. They had asked if we had any stores so we started with that and showed them the 2 grocery stores, 2 dollar stores, few restaurants, bowling alley, three traffic lights etc. They giggled at some of the things and seemed to be enjoying the ride. They asked about the price of some of the houses. We finished with a drive by the park and schools. I think they were both surprised by how big the schools were. I think they were expecting something smaller, especially since they came in from a road off the interstate that comes right through a residential area to our house and didn't pass any of business district.
As they prepared to leave once we arrived home, she mentioned that she wanted to meet our family as well. I told her we could certainly arrange that and asked if she wanted to do it before or after the baby. She said before and I told her I would look at the calendar and we could finalize plans on Thursday at her next dr. appt. Sundays is still her only day off during the week though.
All in all, I felt good about the visit and think they had a nice time. I felt pretty comfortable with how things went, but just felt tired from being so stressed about it!
It's incredible to me how so vastly different each adoption is. It's awesome that you guys are opening up so much of yourselves so early on. Many agencies don't even let you share your last name, much less where you live or having the expectant mother/family over for dinner!
ReplyDeleteI pray that things keep going well for you all. Open adoption is just expanding your family... not only are you gaining a baby, but you're adding a new tree to your family orchard and it's a beautiful thing!
I absolutely look forward to reading your posts... they make me smile and really inspire me!