Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Beautiful day

I don't have time for a full post but know there are many of you (by many, I mean 4) who are waiting for news.

We had an absolutely fantastic day meeting that sweet baby at the hospital.  Our talks with A and her family made it even better.  I can't wait to share more, but we got home late.  We stopped to develop some pics and shared with the grandparents.  I'm still not packed and ready to leave the house tomorrow for our ICPC stay.

We are leaving the hospital with her tomorrow and I can't believe this is my last night before life gets crazy again with a newborn!

More pics and details coming soon!  :)  And, tomorrow afternoon we are planning to announce it to our friends

Thanks again for your prayers, messages, and support!

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Oh, boy what a day- or should I say {Oh, Girl}

I am so tired and I did nothing more than wait around all day!

The day started off the day with a text from A saying "today is the day :)"   She kept me updated all morning with info like: we are at the hospital, they just hooked up my IV, and called when they broke her water at 10 and contractions were starting. 

I told her I wouldn't call her or text ( I responded to hers, just didn't send her ones on my own) because I didn't want wake her if she was sleeping or if she was in the middle of something)  She had also told me she didn't get any sleep last night so I knew she would sleep if possible.

Matt wanted me to text her around 12 to let her know we were thinking of her.  I did but said she didn't need to respond if she didn't want to, we just wanted her to know we were thinking / praying for her.  I also told her earlier in the morning that she had lots of people praying for her around the US.  (Thanks if this is you!)  She seemed really excited about that. 

She didn't respond until about 3 and I was started to get worried.  I remembered that recently my cell phone doesn't get text sometimes randomly.  I was worried she might have text me and that I was the one not responding.  This is why our agency really advises not to use text because they don't want people getting upset if someone doesn't respond right away etc. 

When she did respond, she said she had been in terrible pain earlier but was now doing better.  She was dilated to a 10!  I told her it would be very soon and hang in there. 

Matt and I had taken naps in the morning, ran to Sub.way for lunch and tried to sleep a little more this afternoon.  We were so anxious we couldn't do anything else!  I text her and asked if the nurses and doctors have been nice to her.  As I went to pick up B from school at around 3:25 she text me back saying that they have been amazing and that they hung a mirror up for her and she could see baby's head! 

Some people text and drive but this girl texts and delivers!

B and I hurried home because I knew the baby would be here soon!  We arrived a few minutes before the call came in from A that she was here!  She has a whole head of hair, was 6 lbs, 6 ounces, 19 inches, and had dimples like her mom!

We told her to let us know if/ when she wanted us to come to the hospital.  She said okay and we continued to share a few more texts and she sent a few more pics.  A while later she said they were getting ready to move her to the other room and she was going to rest.  I had a feeling she was going to have us not come up tonight. 

A little later she did call and say she was really tired and if it would be okay if we come up tomorrow.  Of course I said that was fine :)  She said we can come anytime so I told her we would probably come in the morning.  Matt is having a harder time with it than I am. 

When she sent us some of the pics tonight, I told her " I can't WAIT to hold her"  She said, " I know, I can't put her down, she's such a sweet baby :) you guys are gonna love her!"

I said "I already do!" and she said, "I can tell :) you guys are gonna be wonderful parents" 

Aww, love.

Monday, December 10, 2012

No News

Sorry for the late post but today was crazy.  I was up until 2:30 this morning.  I was so emotional and excited and just couldn't sleep.  Matt called me about 1 AM and said that the guys on his team had just given him a bunch of diapers.  How sweet. And it makes me laugh that they did it at 1 AM, not 11 when he went into work.  

A called around 6:20.  She said that the hospital had called and they were filled and not going to have room or staff for her today.  So, we are back to 7 AM tomorrow. 

So, Monday, Tuesday, Monday, and back to Tuesday. 

Moving it one day really moves things more than that.  CW hasn't heard from edad since he canceled the meeting.  Hopefully he comes in to sign after baby is born but if he doesn't, we have to wait the 5 business days for termination.  That makes it Monday vs. Friday.  Emom can't sign until his rights have been terminated.  So we are looking at Mon- Wed. and even though I feel that if we leave the hospital with baby, we are good, I will still have a little bit of reserve in the back of my mind.

Thank you for all of your messages, prayers, and thoughts today.  Tomorrow I plan to get a little sleep, pack my clothes/ supplies and finish a few last minute things around here. 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

My baby boy

Matt works nights and I usually let B sleep in our bed once a week.  The house is so empty, and all of the pets (okay, not the hermit crab or bearded dragon, just two dogs and a cat) climb in with B and I.  This feels the safest when we are all together.

He asked me tonight if he could sleep in our bed.  I told him that I had said earlier in the week he could on Sunday night because it would be our last night with just us.  (Matt is off starting tomorrow)  B gave me a big long hug and was getting a little teary.  I asked him what was the matter and he said he was just excited to be a brother.  Seeing him so emotional got me emotional.  I hugged him back so tight and a sadness covered my heart.  He has been my one and only love for so long and is everything I could want in my baby boy.   I have so much love for him, will I have enough to share?  Will he be able to share me? This will be such a big change and I just felt overcome with the emotion of it all that I couldn't hold back my own tears.


A called me today while we were at a family Christmas but I didn't make it over to my phone in time.  She had sent a text asking if it was okay if she sent some pics to my phone that she wanted us to have.  I text back and told her we would love to have any that she has to share with us. 

She sent the ones she showed us Friday night here that she has taken of her belly and also some we hadn't seen of her younger sister and her and her friend.  I know that baby will love to have these when she is older.

She told me she would call me later.  I called her when we left to tell her I was on the way home and left her a voice message.  As I walked in the door, she called back. 

She told us that the doctor had called and had an opening so it is now back to MONDAY- TOMORROW!

I was so excited.  Freaking out mode.  Goose bumps.  Tears.   We talked for about a half hour and it was good.  We went over a few things she should take to the hospital like we discussed on Friday  (robe, slippers, her make up, etc.)  We talked about her family and that everyone was ready and excited for all of this.  She said her mom is going to spend the night with her on Monday night.  She asked me if they let the baby stay in the room with her because her dad was thinking they make the baby go to the nursery for a while.  I told her how they really encourage moms to keep the babies in the room.

She goes in at ten and I mentioned how that might be good so she doesn't have to get up so early but that she will be hungrier.  She was worried about that because she loves to eat!

She plans to call us during the day and update us and will call after the baby arrives for us to come and visit. 

I can't express how good this feels to have this kind of relationship.  I started crying on the phone with her and told her how excited I was that tomorrow was the day.  She said we will have our baby very soon!

I already feel a love for her and a desire to protect her.  I will pray for her to get through this and have a peace and comfort in her decision.

A visits our home

We picked up A at her house in the downtown area.  We called her when we were close and she told us that her mom wanted to walk her down (they live in an apt/ condo) to our car.  Matt and I thought that was very sweet.   Her mom greeted us with hugs and a kiss.  I had text A on the way that B said he was nervous to meet her.  She replied that she was too.   We had him get out of the car and introduced him to both of the ladies.  We chatted the whole way back to our town and she told us that her doctor had forgotten to schedule her induction and the date has now changed to Tuesday vs. Monday.  I was so disappointed!  It's only one day but I was looking forward to the busy Fri night- Sunday that I had planned and then, Boom! Baby Day!  She also decided on a name and was not going to use the one we had suggested but one letter different.  We still love the first name but I am not crazy about the middle name.  Matt tells me to get over it, it is not a big deal but I was a little disappointed.

We headed straight to a Mexican place in town we love to eat.  She had told us she loves Mex and that she was fine eating it while pregnant.  Matt and I giggled that she ordered a steak.  Lots of people were looking our way and in our small town on a Friday we knew about 9 tables of people.  Only a few stopped over.  I told her that everyone knows we are doing the adoption, but we haven't told people that we were selected yet.  We introduced her as our friend A.

After dinner, we headed around town for a tour of the town then back to our house.  She loved the room.  I could tell she was really excited about it.  She had been texting her mom the whole time she was with us and I told her she could take pics on her phone if she wanted to.  She was really excited about that.  Then we took her downstairs and I showed her all of the things I had packed.  I pointed to one storage tub and said this one is clothes and that I could show her if she was interested.  She wanted to see them so we started going through them.  She also enjoyed looking at them.  I told her I know we were not going to need all of these for our hotel stay but that I always over pack.  She said she does as well and when she goes to a slumber party she always packs a lot because she doesn't know what she wants to wear either.

She had a few other comments that were so ....15 and it made us smile.  I lover her innocence but feel a little sad for what she has to go through at such a young age.  She seemed really comfortable with us and just talked up a storm.  She told us more about herself, her family, school etc.  She asked us questions about the hospital, delivery, etc.

She and her mom are working on gathering pictures for us to have of A as a baby and little girl and their extended family.  I told A how this will really be a treasure for baby as she gets bigger.  She also asked if we would like to come to their house after the baby while we are at the hotel.  She wants to show us around where they live and I told her that we would love to.  This just feel so good and like such a good match.  I can't believe this is where we are.

Around 10 PM we headed back towards her house and made a stop for some frozen yogurt.  She had never been to this place and wanted to take her cup home with her so she could walk in eating it and make her brother/ sister jealous that we took her out for it.  :)

She is so respectful and uses her manners.  She thanked us for taking her out.  She just seems like such a good girl.

I am so happy we have met her and am looking forward to becoming a part of her family as well.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


I'm still not feeling good, my throat is sore, my ear hurts and I'm so so tired.  I'm stressed about our ICPC stay and my loss of income while we are gone.  We might have settled on a place to stay today though which does make me feel a bit better.  It is more than I want to spend, but a good rate for the hotel.  It provides a full kitchen which will help will saving money on meals out.  It is nice and clean and in an area close to other activities.

I did send the text to J today.   I didn't get a response.  I was at least hoping for one that said I had the wrong number so I wouldn't have to wonder if she got it or not.  I said Happy 1/2 birthday to J and that we think about them all each day.  Love and prayers, Matt, Amber, and B.

Tomorrow A goes to the Dr. and said she will call after.  I am excited to hear from her again. 

I am getting some done around the house but not as much as I would like do to being worn down with not feeling 100%.  I know there will not be lots of time for sleeping in my future either and I will have to get back to work as soon as possible.

B turns 8 on the 15th.  We are having a sleepover with his friends on Saturday night which is not the best timing but I don't want him to feel like we are pushing his birthday off.  I just called people to invite them and didn't get cute invites out like I would have liked (and even designed on Pic.mon.key)

I love all of the support we are getting from our friends and family that do know.  It feels so good to know that we have so many people who care about us and want to help.  My online friends are just as great.  Every email, message, or comment I get makes me smile because many of you are the ones who know just what this is like.

Please continue to pray for those still waiting for their call.  It is so very hard to go on and on without a plan.  The one couple I have written about a few times- I still don't know how I will share this news with them.  My heart hurts every time I think of it. 

Tonight while sitting in the rocking chair in the baby room I found a note on the dresser.  It was torn out from a notebook and had a drawing of a shooting star.  It had her name on the bottom and said "From Your Big Brother B" at the top.  Aww, Love.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Meeting Canceled

CW called today to let us know that edad had sent a text message to cancel the meeting for tomorrow.  He said he has to work.  She responded and asked him if he wants to reschedule it.  She waited a few hours and when she called me, she had not heard back.

He is only 16 and I am sure he is nervous.  I wish I could help him understand that we are not going to judge him.  I don't know if I could have understood that at 16 myself though.  I do hope we get an opportunity to meet him however.  I want to be able to share the story about what he was like when we met with him.  I want to have his approval for us to parent his child even though we are old enough to be his parents.  I don't want him to just sign relinquishments.  I feel that if he at least meets us, he is okay with us parenting.

Also, a few of you asked and I must have left out this important detail--- IT'S A GIRL!!!!  Love!


Tomorrow is a day I've been thinking about for a long time.  December 4th.  Sweet baby doll J will be 6 months.  I have talked to the case worker a few times about wanting to contact J and see how they are doing.  I've heard she has moved back down South where her family lives.  I am happy about this.  They seemed to love her and I am happy she will have some support. 

She probably has a new number and that will make me sad.  I plan on sending her a text message and just saying I am thinking about them, Happy 6th months, and hope they are all doing well.  If she has a new number, the message won't even get to her. 

I hope baby J will always have a special feeling in her heart of being loved more than ever by three people here.  I hope J knows we still care about her and mean it when we said we are not angry with her.  We will always pray for them and the best possible life they can have. 

We love you baby girl.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Have I got news for you!

Hi everyone! I've been hiding a secret.  I'm still hiding it actually, but couldn't wait to get here to my little blog world to share it with all of you.  We have told a few of our family and close friends but that is about it for now.

We received a call that we were selected by an expecting mom the evening before Thanksgiving.  Matt coaches the youth wrestling program in our area and B and I were headed to a friends house to pick up her children for a play date that evening so she could prepare for Thanksgiving the following day.  Our caseworker called and asked if we were still working on updating our profile.  I said yes with a sign (meaning that yes, I marked all the pages that need updated....that is working on it right???) I really thought she was going to ask if we could have it done in the next few days or something. 

"Well you can stop, because your profile has been selected".   love.

B and I drove to where Matt was and had him come out to the car to listen in on the details that the CW shared with us.  It was so nice to hear them together vs. the first time of where I had to drive all the way home and tell them to Matt. 

The situation is good.  Really good.  Almost too good to be true.  I struggle thinking I am worthy of this.  One of the first things I thought of was my two adoption friends who are still waiting.  I know this is going to hurt them.  I know they will be happy but it's hard to see what seems like "everyone" else get their calls.

I'm not promising this time it is going to work out.  I promised that last time.  But, this one is good.  My heart is so happy.  I see two families becoming one.

Emom is 15.  Edad is 16. They are not together anymore.  She has the full support of her parents. We met them ( her and her parents) last Wednesday.  We had so many connections.  We talked with them for 2 1/2 hours and emom is such a beautiful girl.  We are already so proud of who she is and can easily see why her parents love her so much.

We meet edad this Tuesday.  He is pretty quiet the CW said.  He might be on his own.  He says he is on board with signing. 

On Friday, we are picking up Emom, A and bringing her to our home. 

I'm nervous, excited, and exhausted.  So exhausted that I have not been feeling well since Thursday from the stress I'm sure.  My kitchen cupboard is full of post it notes and things to get done.  The baby is coming a week from tomorrow! 

She is being induced on the tenth, plans for us to come to the hospital to visit each day and for us to take the baby home from the hospital.

My biggest stresses now are: finding a place to stay in NE while we wait for ICPC paperwork to be completed (crossing our fingers we are home for Christmas) and not having any income while I'm off of work.   This was partially covered last time when I was off work in June.  I have really been better about those things though the last week.  I know that we will find a way to make things work.

I'll keep you posted after we meet edad on Tues.  I am really excited for this because if he ends up not continuing contact, we will have some part of the story to share about when we met him.