Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Application drop-off

Renee told us that we can either drop off the application in person or mail it in.  I decided to drop it off to have the peace of mind it was there. I was also hoping for an opportunity to make a good impression with talking to her again, but she was with a client so I left the packet with the receptionist.

The application was pretty short compared to the first agency.  It had basic information, a few questions regarding how we got to where we are and what type of situations we would be open to.  We also had to include a family photo and a $100 application fee.

The $100 was pretty reasonable compared to many other application fees I have seen that are closer to $500. We felt like it was worth the shot to pay the money  to see if we make it into the program.

Now, it's time to wait and pray until the last half of August when they pull out the applications and call people in for interviews.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Informational Meeting

After talking with the adoption counselor on the phone on July 5, I decided to schedule us an appointment to go in for an information meeting.  This is the only way to get an application and they were able to get us in while Matt was home for a full week.  We dropped off B at grandma's and headed out under the pretense of going to dinner together.  The adoption counselor (R, from here on out) usually holds the info meetings during the day, but does set up special appointments to fit in families.  Our meeting was with one other couple.

Matt and I arrived at the office first and after talking with R on the phone about how the acceptance process worked, I was eager to scope out our "competition".  Even though the meeting was only informational, I still felt like it was a "try out".  I wanted the agency to think we were a great match!  I believe it when they tell us that the right babies seemed to get matched up with the right parents, but I just want to get in for one of the spots so I feel like we have a chance.  That is where the competition feeling comes from.  I feel like we are trying to make some elite sports or dance team.

The other mom arrived a few minutes after us and said her husband would be on his way.  We went ahead and got started and he arrived about 10 minutes later.)score one for us!)  Matt and I later laughed because I said wasn't she "Ms. Prepared"- she got out her notebook, file folders, and a few documents she had printed off the computer. (score one for them) Matt was laughing at me because I didn't even bring a pen.  I did have a pen, thankyouverymuch- in my purse.

The meeting wasn't much different from the informational meeting we went through at the first adoption agency.  The only big difference is the way they accept families into their program.  This is the only thing I hate, but this is the only affordable adoption choice for us.  Again with the competition- I want one of those spots!!!

The other couple asked some good questions and we asked a few as well.  They stayed longer than us because they wanted to discuss the international portion and Renee told us we could leave if we wanted since we are only pursuing domestic.  We wished the other couple good luck ( and sincerely meant it).  From some of their questions they asked I am pretty sure they don't have any children yet and I do hope that everyone who has the desire to be a parent gets this opportunity like we have had with our son.

R handed us a packet as we left that included some info on open adoptions and other resources, as well as the application.  When we got to the car Matt told me that he felt good about the place and thought R did a good job with the info.  We decided we would go forward with the application.

Friday, July 8, 2011

How our story begins...

*This post was written in 2007 from a previous blog. 

In October of 2002, I came home to a message on my answering machine from Matt. My friend Kim and I met up later that week with Matt and some of his friends.  Matt and I had a great time and began dating shortly after that. In June of 2003, the weekend of my 25th birthday, Matt proposed. I had no hesitations and we decided to get married that summer instead of waiting a whole year until the next summer. We were married on August 23rd, 2003.

Like our quick engagement and wedding, we were ready to get started on a family soon after we were married. I was able to get pregnant 2 months after we started "trying" and unfortunately had a miscarriage in February of 2004. At this time, my OB/GYN, found a large fibroid tumor in my uterus. He did not think this was the cause for my miscarriage, and thought we should be able to get pregnant again with no problems. He did recommend that we try to have one child before we looked into the problem of the fibroid. He also stated that he could recommend someone we could see for a second opinion if we liked. Even though we have so much trust and respect for Dr. Soto, we decided that it wouldn’t hurt anything to get the second opinion. We scheduled our appointment with the specialist  that Soto recommended. When we got into our appointment, the Dr. advised us that we should have the surgery (myomectomy) to remove the fibroids before trying to get pregnant. She thought carrying a pregnancy would be more dangerous with the tumor. 

We decided that since she was the specialist, we would go ahead and do the surgery first before trying again. Several days later, we found out that we were too late and I had been about 4 days pregnant when we saw her. As I called Dr. Soto in tears and scared, he assured me that he would everything would be okay, he would take care of me, and that God does these things for a reason. Happily, at 37 weeks, our son was born weighing 8 pounds and 5 ounces. We are so thankful for the caring staff of Dr. Soto’s office that helped get us our beautiful baby boy.

Six months after our son was born Dr. Soto did the myomectomy to remove the fibroid. During this procedure he found a smaller fibroid that was hidden under the large one but were not able to remove it due to the amount of blood loss I was having during surgery. After I recovered from this surgery, he gave me 6 months to try and get pregnant. We were not successful. The small tumor that had been left was now growing at a fast rate and Dr. Soto did not think I was going to be able to get pregnant. We were reminded of what he said early on and that was that he wanted to be able to get us one healthy pregnancy before we discussed other options. 

In December of 2006 I had a hysterectomy. I didn’t realize how much this would affect me emotionally. As I watched our son getting bigger and interact with the babies that came to our house for daycare, I had a longing for the ability to have a sibling for him. I only wanted one more, I wasn’t asking for 4 or 5 kids. When I was carrying him I loved laying on the couch and watching him move around in my belly. I think I laid there for 2 hours each night just watching him kick, punch, and move! It was very devastating for me to accept that I would not be able to be pregnant ever again. What I have tried so hard to understand is that God has a reason for everything, and many of those reasons I might not ever understand. I am not in control of my life and God has a plan for us. 

In August of 2007, we had an initial meeting with an adoption agency in our area.  We thought everything sounded great and decided to start moving forward with the process, despite the $20,000 price tag.  

In September 2007, we were contacted by one of my (Amber) cousins who was offering to be a gestational surrogate for us to give us the opportunity for a biological child.  This opportunity was so great, there was no way we could pass it up.  We moved forward with this after switching gears from adoption.  After many months of tests, dr. appointments, pills, shots, and you name it- we transferred two beautiful embryos to Kris on May 27th and July 22nd, both times with negative results.  We are forever indebted to Kris and her family for the chance to provide us an opportunity to parent another child.  

Here we are...a few years down the road...and our hearts have done some healing.  We are ready to begin another journey, even though we know the road is long and will be full of hills and valleys.