Friday, March 30, 2012

Unbelievable and completely amazing

You are not going to believe this.  Today I was walking out of my first appointment for work and our case worker called.  I had hoped she would call back since I had left her a message last night that it was okay to show our profile next week.  I told her in the message to call if she thought of anything else to tell us or if I needed to do anything else.

She started in with saying that she needed the answer right away about showing our profile because she actually showed it to the birth mom this morning. 

Birthmom had a couple maybes but one was a big yes.  That big yes was US!   The caseworker asked me to pull over and we talked for a few minutes.  One of the things birthmom wanted was for the adoptive family to be involved as soon as possible.  Case worker told me we can set up a meeting next week, but for me to call and tell Matt the news.

I was about 35 minutes away from home.  I was a nervous wreck!  I didn't know how I was going to drive the whole way home.  I decided not to call Matt, I wanted to tell him in the person.

Luckily I had no more work appointments today. I drove straight home where Matt was outside mowing.  I threw the car in park and went running across the yard.  He saw I was crying and panicked right away.  He said- What's wrong???

I looked him in the eyes and said-  SHE PICKED US! 

Matt was very excited.  He thought it was so cool.  I was freaking out nervous!!! Am I going to remember how to parent a baby??? Can I do this again??? Can we afford it??? Now we have to have a baby everywhere with us!!!!  I wanted to throw up!

 I went back to work for a while to grab some work to bring home.  We both pretty much knew that I would not be able to get any work done this afternoon.

We picked up B from school together and couldn't wait to tell him.  I wrote a card for him to read.  It said:  You are going to be a  big brother in May!   We had him read it outloud and I was capturing it on video.

After we answered any of B's questions, he still wanted to go to gram's as planned for a slumber party with his cousins.  (what 7 year old wouldn't) 

We continued to meet with lots of our family the rest of the evening to share the news.

I still can't believe it.  not. one. bit. 

We meet with  birth mom on Tuesday.  We are supposed to bring a list of questions.  I'm not exactly sure.  I told the case worker I don't know what to say, what to do....we have never done this before!!!   Any suggestions?

Here are some prayer requests:

1.  Birth mom and baby- that she will continue to take care of baby and make healthy choices
2.  Birth mom- that she will be at peace with any decision she comes to.
3.  Our case worker R, and her days ahead with chemo.
4.  That God will provide for our needs during this time.
5.  Circumstances surrounding baby to go smoothly.

Thank you and I will be back to update!

New case worker

In between appointments at work I checked my voice mail.  I didn't see I had missed call, so wasn't sure who the message was from.  As I listened to the message it was our new temporary case worker.  As she began to introduce herself, I assumed she was calling to let us know she would be covering R's medical leave and maybe ask us to come in so she could meet us. 

She actually started saying that she was going to show profiles next week (this must have been a new mom because we did not have one ready for profiles on our past updates.  Remember we did not have our March update however) and wanted to know if we were open to her showing ours.  Since she was new, she was not completely familiar with all of our preferences.

It took a few hours of phone tag to finally get in touch with her.  

She told me the scenario pretty much everything matched up with what we were open to.  Without sharing too much of the baby's story- the baby has had limited prenatal care.  This was something that Matt and I had different opinions on.  Birth mom had an ultrasound last week and the doctor said everything looked great and that the baby looked healthy with no concerns.  That was very reassuring.

Matt was working an overtime shift and it took me a few hours to get  a hold of him at work to go over the details.  We talked for just a few minutes and agreed to go for it!  

I called A back and left her a message that we were okay for her to show our profile. 

As we laid in bed that night, I went over the scenario again with Matt on my little note bad I wrote the details on.  We were both comfortable with it.  I am both scared and excited- but it is nice to know that our profile is going to be shown. 

Terrible News & Prayers Needed

We were nearing the end of the month and I was wondering where our monthly update was.  I don't want to be the girl who calls to bug them about it.  I know that probably not much has changed but these little bits of info are what keep me going! 

Matt received a call on Tuesday from the program director that our case worker has been diagnosed with an aggressive form of ovarian cancer.  She had surgery this week and will begin chemo right away.  They are planning on her being out for at least 6 months. 

She is young, upbeat, and wonderful.  I hate this news.  I don't understand it.  I don't her to be "one of us" now. 

They wanted to let us know that they will still show our profile and will have someone filling in for her but this is not what we were concerned with.  We are concerned about her and her life.

As much as I want a baby, I am not in a hurry.  I am okay if this slows things up.  Money stresses me out.  Are we going to be able to afford diapers, childcare, formula, and everything that comes with a baby???  I try to remind myself that most people are never "ready" completely but they find ways to make it work. 

Please pray for her during the dark days ahead.  She needs every single one of them.