I sit here tonight catching up on blog posts. I know baby will be here any day and that we are closer than ever. It could be tonight. Who knows. I got a text from Matt at work saying he loves me and can't wait for baby to get here. I can't either. I think of it day and night. I think of it as I fall asleep and as I wake in the mornings.
I am overcome by emotion tonight as I typed some of these last few posts. I know we have so many loved ones in our small town supporting us as well as friends and family across the country waiting to hear the news. I told my new gal at work today that I think this is the most highly anticipated baby in our county with the number of people who ask me about it each day!
But as I sit here thinking about how very close we are to something we have wanted for such a long time, my heart hurts. Many of those people mentioned above don't realize that this is still J's baby. She still has a choice in this. I want nothing more than her blessing if we come home with this baby.
I sit here each night in anticipation of a phone call I might get or counting the days until the next doctors appointment to give us an update on how much closer we are.
Tonight, as I am dreaming of what our life will be like with this baby (and how quiet my house is at this moment) I am so excited to have her in my arms. I know it is close. I know she will be here soon. She is almost so close I can smell her baby soft smell.
But in a town not to far away, baby is still safe in her mommy's tummy. She is snuggled in and warm, content and safe. How is her mommy feeling? Is she ready to be done with this? Is she confident she is making the right choice? Is she savoring the last few days or hours she has before she makes a decision that will change her life? Is she ready for this?
My heart hurts for us both. The day is near.