Tuesday, May 15, 2012

False Alarm #1

Last Wednesday I was on my way home from working at church when J called my cell phone.  When I answered she told me, "I'm already at the hospital".  (Begin panic here and throw plan out window) I told her okay and that I would be there as soon as I could.  I remember asking her if she already had the baby because I was sort of confused on what she was telling me.  She said she was having contractions and I could hear in her voice that she was scared.

I had my cousin with me who I was heading to drop off so were just  a few blocks from my house when J called.  I had my cousin trying our home phone while I was trying Matt's cell as we were driving.  No answer on both lines.  I pulled into the drive way and honked several times and jumped out of the car.  Matt came quickly out the door and I was screaming "let's go, let's go! hospital!!" 

I'm so glad he remembered what our plan was.  He told me to go and he would make some calls and take our cousin home.  We yelled for B to grab his shoes and him and I headed up towards the hospital.  (About 30 minutes away).

Our original plan was going to be this:

J wants me in the delivery room.

If I was home alone with B at night (Matt works nights) I would wake him up and bring him with me.  We would call Matt on the way up and he would meet us shortly after at the hospital.  B could wait in the chairs until dad got there if needed.  He is a good boy like that.

If  it was during the day, I will go up on my own and the boys will follow me up and be in the waiting room.

As I drove quickly and was trying to call the case worker, I finally got a hold of her and let her know what was going on.  She wanted me to call her once I found out anything.  We both agreed that this could be a false alarm because J was only 37 weeks.

I was a little more relaxed than 15 minutes earlier and called Matt to tell him to wait and let me see what the situation was once I got to the hospital.  Maybe he wouldn't need to call in for work.  He was kind of crabby because he had already called in and I was trying to tell him that I know I panicked and if he could just wait for me to get to the hospital I could give him a better idea of what was going on. 

I told B that we needed to pray for J and the baby that everyone would be safe and healthy and that we would make it safely to the hospital.

The hospital she is delivering at is connected to another hospital ( I still don't get this part)  We went a few weeks ago to visit a friend who had just had a baby and went to the "other" part of the hospital.  After visiting, we did walk through to the other side to see the part where J would be delivering.  We of course had parked on the side where my friend was however.  So, as we arrived at the hospital,  I tried to drive around to the the other side of the buildinfg and look for the outside entrance to the correct part.  I had to pull over and ask a security guard.  He said go down this street, take your first right, go past a circle drive, into the garage, yada yada yada.... I was SO mad at myself for not coming over before to figure out exactly where to go, where to park, what doors to go in etc!!!!  After buzzing around we finally parked, ran out and B did such a good job keeping up and running with me.  He was so excited!  There was no "main" looking entrance to this side of the hospital.  What kind of hospital was this?!?!  It is also connected to a transplant center so all of the doors said that on them.  There was also lots of construction so the first doors we tried were locked.  We ran back to the ones that were marked transplant center and even though I thought that can't be right, that would be a different building, we tired them.  Locked.   There was couple walking by and I asked them in as out of breath words as I could, "Do you know how to get in this place?!?!"  They pointed to a steel door and I found our way shortly after that.  We ran up to the first security guard desk (9 at night) and asked him which way we needed to go.  B then blurts out to him "we're adopting" and I just melted right there.  He was so excited to be doing this with me.  The security man slowly picks up his paper (is he not sensing my urgency?!!) and looks on this list of names.  J's name is not on there.  He asks if I have the right place.  I tell him she called me from here and says that she is already there.  He calls up to the floor and they give him her room number.  After signing in and making a name tag, we are back on our way to running down the halls looking for elevators and the 4th floor.

Once we arrive at the nurses station, we give ask to be let in for J and her room #.  The nurse asks me who I was and I give my name and state "I'm the adoptive mom and this is my son"  She looks over at the nurse next to her for an answer (like she doesn't want to let me in, the old bat!) and that nurse says "they can go in". 

After signing in again and getting an additional name tag, we finally make it down to J's room.  We knock and I tell B to wait in the hall outside the door while I run in.  I didn't know what state she was in and wanted to check on her first.  The nurse in the hall snaps at me that I can't leave him there- he has to go in with me.  Okay, fine, but geeze!  How am I supposed to know these things??  J had her friend P there and his sister in law and her two kids were there.  Once we arrived, they headed out within a few minutes.  They didn't speak English so I really didn't say much to them (except P, whom I have met 2 or 3 times before)  The nurse was just telling J that she needed to be drinking more water that she was a bit dehydrated and to walk the halls and come back in an hour and a half.  They said she was dilated to a 2 and they would check when she got back to see if she had any progress.

I helped her up and the three of us headed to third floor (the long hallway the nurses said).  About 1/2 way down, there was an empty waiting room and a tv so I got cartoons on for B and he was set.   I called Matt and he was on his way up.  I had text him that the nurse had told me while J was using the rest room before we left the room that it was probably not going to be tonight.  He met us in the hall and had brought his stuff up for work with him.  He walked a few minutes and then sat with B until it was time to go for work. 

The problem with this was that now I was alone with B again.  He is usually a very good waiter, but this was not what we originally had planned.  I was fearing that she would get checked and they would say go walk again and we would be up there for hours longer.

When our time was up we returned to the room and they told her she did not make any progress.   She was still at a 2, 40% effaced and even though her contractions were 4 minutes apart, she needed to come back when they were stronger.  They also gave her a prescription for Ambian to help her get some rest.

She had driven herself to the hospital from work and was also hungry so when we left she rode in my car and I took her to drop off the prescription and get something from a drive through.  It was now about midnight and B asked if he could have some fries when we were ordering but was asleep in the backseat by the time we got to the window.  I took her back to the hospital and I followed her home. 

She had a regular scheduled dr. appointment the next morning.  We made plans for me to pick her up since her husband was going to be at work using their car.

I was disappointed that we didn't have a baby that night but actually thankful as well.  It was a good practice run.  We both laughed at how we didn't have things packed yet and would be doing that tomorrow.  I learned that when you are expecting-- always make sure you know how to get to the hospital!!  We also learned that having B with me when we don't know how long it will take Matt to get there is not going to work.  If she would have actually gone into labor, he would have had to have been in the room with us which is not what she or I wanted.  I feel kind of stupid for thinking I could let him sit in the waiting room and I could check on him because I know he would have been a good boy and just watched TV.   Our plan is now that if I get called in the night to take him to grandma's.  If Matt is with us for sure, B will go with him to wait to meet his sister! 


  1. Wow, that sounds like quite the adventure!

  2. I believe God had a hand in this practice run. Too many things that you needed to figure out before the baby comes. Now you know, and you'll be more comfortable and confident because of this trail run.

    B is so cute. I melted a bit when he told the security guard that you guys were adopting. So sweet.

    Be prepared for nastiness from the nurses at the hospital (and the social worker). It's the one part of adopting that no one told me about and caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting a lot, but we were treated HORRIBLY. To the point that we got NOTHING for Gus when he left the hospital. No diapers, no formula, NOTHING. Everyone told me we'd get diapers and formula and other new mommy things. Apparently, only mamas who birth their babies got those things at the hospital where Gus was born.


    Okay... now tell us about False Alarm #2!!!

  3. I second Cats experience at least initially. Since we were in the hospital a month some of the staff warmed up to us and our discharge nurse snuck us two BIG bags of baby items for our drive home (no one at the hospital we were at got things for the baby). I had to fight for my place as Mom though. With J's permission see if you can have your agency contact social services at the hospital to create a plan for the hospital which indicates what J's wishes are (this had been done by our agency prior to our arrival). Since I knew baby girls birth mothers full name, address, etc I was able to convince social services who then convinced nursing to give me a wrist band. Security at one point wouldn't let us onto the NICU unit. Once I had the wrist band I was treated much differently (well most of the time... some times they thought I was the bmom since I had the hospital band and well bmom in this case wasn't treated that great either).

    J's in a hard spot. I hope she is able to sort out and keep true to her desires. Thinking of all of you!!!

    1. Thank you for your comments. They are appreciated. I am hoping it goes well also. I did verify and the CW has now sent the plan to the hospital social worker. We will see how it goes!