L & D Tour

The case worker had called me to tell me that J wanted to do a tour now of L and  D.  I had offered to go with her previously and told her to let me know if she wanted to go on one.  The case worker found it a little funny that she was wanting to go on one now that she had already had two false alarms and been to the floor already.  She said that J wanted both her (caseworker) and I to go.

We arranged it for a few days later and I met them both at the agency office.  We rode together in the case workers vehicle and had some chit chat on the way there. 

{I do not plan to use this blog as a format to voice any complaints in my personal journey with the agency or the caseworker.  I do fell like certain issues were bothering me during this time with how a few things were handled however.  The point is, our regular case worker was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and we have a fill in during this time}

I don't remember doing a tour with we had B so I didn't really know what to expect.  After we checked in at the nurses station, we waited for our turn in the lobby.  When the nurse came out to get us she asked who was having the baby.  We pointed towards J and she greeted her very nicely.  No other introductions were made however.  She asked J when she was due and when she told her "any day", the nurse replied with, "are you sure about that, you are so tiny- you must have a really tiny baby in there".  I was thinking that was a bit rude, and as a matter of fact...no she is not sure on an exact due date but thanks for adding your two cents nursey.

The tour was pretty basic I'm sure. She took us in the different rooms, pointed out different features they offer, talked about the upgrades they have recently done etc.  She went on and on about how they encourage all of the moms to keep the babies in the room at all times and to breastfeed and that they will send someone in to help with breastfeeding.  At this point, I felt really awkward.  During the breastfeeding discussion, case worker and I had been looking at something else in the room but I quickly focused back on what the nurse was saying to J.  J looked at me and said "it's okay" but I'm not really sure what she was meaning by that.  I felt awkward because our case worker had not mentioned that we were a possible adoption and was worried for how J might be feeling.

I know case worker had previously talked to J during counseling about breast feeding and she told me that J looked at her like she thought she was crazy.

The only question J asked during the tour was what kind of formula they give the babies.  The nurse responded that they do encourage the moms to at least try breast feeding first but have either S or E formula.  She said if she is on WIC that they often give S because that is what they are currently using.

After the tour the case worker asked J as we were walking down the halls if she had changed her mind about BF.  Her answer was a bit hard to understand, but she did sound like she was going to try it and pump some.  She said her breasts had been hurting and leaking already.

After we left the office, I called case worker to see what she thought of the tour.  I really was wanting to know if she would say anything about not telling the nurse about the adoption.  Her reasoning was that this is most likely not going to be the nurse that J has and she wants J to be treated normal on the tour.  I can understand that but I did feel like the nurse could have told us more info or possibly not have said some things that might have made J feel uncomfortable.

Caseworker also thought that maybe J was just saying those things to the nurse about BF because she felt pressure.  She said she would talk more to her about it in a future counseling session.