Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Car Problems, and more...

Saturday evening (after we had met for lunch that day) I found out that J's car had broken down.  She ended up asking if there was any way I could come and get them and give them a ride home (and their laundry- they had been doing that since we left from lunch)

I was planning to go out with a few girlfriends (I'd sat home the past two weekends on baby watch and thought if I went out and had a drink I would get the baby call!)  so I was going to be fairly close to where they were.

 We loaded up everything in my car and I dropped off J, P, and A at P's apartment.  J's husband C was at work and would come get them later.  J was worried about how she would get to her appointments because she thought the car was done for.

I told her not to worry and that we will get it worked out.  On Monday night she text to see if there was any way I could take her to her weekly pregnancy counseling appointment.  We set up the time via text.  I talked to the case worker later to make sure it was okay and she called J on Tuesday to check in with her.  She told her that she could just pick her up since she is only a few minutes away and that way I didn't have to come to town twice.

J was fine with that but I was disappointed because I can't handle working anymore!! I was looking forward to the getting out for a little bit instead of staying for a full day at work.  Really though, I need to save my days so it was okay.

We do have plans for me to pick her up tomorrow for the doctors appointment.  She text me earlier tonight to see what time I was going to pick her up.  I asked her if she was getting excited and she said yes, she hopes they send her to the hospital (for the induction) Friday.  I agreed :)

I asked her if she wants Matt to come or if she cares if he stays home to sleep in case they do send her Fri.  She was fine with him staying and told me we will call him with any news.

About a 1/2 hour later, I got a text from her that said something like this:

Is there any way we could have lunch together tomorrow please because there is a lot of things we need to talk about but only me and you that is if you can.

I told her sure, that it was not a problem and asked if things were okay.

She said "yea just before the baby is born so we could talk about it:

I that is fine and she can pick the place and we will talk after the appointment.

Then I called the case worker of course.

I asked her if she knew what J was wanting to talk about tomorrow.  Did anything come up in counseling today?  She seemed really stumped and said things went well.  She had no idea what it is.  CW said things went good.  The only thing is that they did discuss delivery and the hospital stay.  She thinks J is really scared of being alone.  They talked about us getting another room if available on the floor and she asked if I would stay with her (in her room).  CW told us how she is also worried because C took a job where he is out of town all week and only home on Saturday and she things she is worried about getting to the hospital and what they will do with A as well.

I told the CW that I am okay to stay in the room with her, but it is def. not what I was planning.  I don't mind helping her and being in the room but I don't want to be on top of her either.  The CW thinks having the extra room is nice so you have somewhere to escape too if needed.  Especially since J told us that she thinks some of her co-workers are coming to the hospital to see the baby (and don't know about the adoption plan-- did I tell you this? I asked if she still wanted us there when I found out about them coming and she said oh, yes.  I asked if they would wonder who these white people were?  She said they don't speak English so it will be fine and they don't need to know her business.  I don't quite get that)

If this is what she wants to talk to me about, I'm sure she doesn't want Matt to stay in the room too since she is really modest around men.  So, then where would Matt go?  home?  I thought we would either have an extra room or go to a hotel if they didn't have one. 

CW also said that J did bring up the part about me bringing up changing the name we have picked out.  I asked if she is still okay with the original name we had and CW told me that she loves it.  That makes me feel really good that J does love it.  I used to love it... and I still do (I think :)  )  I am totally fine with keeping it with what we originally planned.

I am more than excited to find out the date for induction.  If the doctor says anything longer than Monday I am going to pull his hair.  I was going to punch him, but I think that might be extreme. 

I will let you know our date and what the "talk" was about.  It's almost here!!!


  1. Oh my goodness. I know you're eager to get all the unknowns out of the picture... it's so stressful.

    I think it's so sweet that she wants you to be in the room with her. Really... you've got such an ideal situation... I am jealous (happy for you, but jealous).

    I think you've established a great friendship with J and she trusts you a lot. I pray that your friendship continues even after the baby is born.

    One thing to maybe talk to her about is how often you'll be getting together with the baby once she's here. Obviously, you're going to want some time to just bond with her. I worry that J is going to want to see her A LOT and it's going to be hard to manage.

    Just make sure you always keep open communication with her and don't keep things from her. I'd try to do a monthly visit at first, so you can bond with the baby and then maybe every three weeks. I would NOT do a weekly thing... but that's just me. Do what's best and most comfortable for you guys.

    I'm so eager to hear what's going on. I don't even know you, and yet I'm so connected to you! WEIRD!!! I promise I'm a good stalker... I don't use my blog stalking for evil and I'm a good person. :-)

    1. I would agree that the situation is *almost* ideal. There are a lot of things I love about it. I love that we have the connection before where we get to know each other. I love that we get to be involved in dr. appointments. I love love love that I get to be in the delivery room- this is my favorite. I love that she says she wants to have some contact after (but we have our doubts about this). I love that she is breast feeding.

      I don't love that she is taking the baby home for longer than a day or two. I don't love that she is being induced. Part of being "pregnant" is the rush and excitement of running to the hospital when her water breaks or contractions get strong. I didn't have this with my planned c-section.