Monday, April 30, 2012

Doctors appointment

This past Thursday, Matt and I both went to J's doctor's appointment.  We arrived first as usual and she came in with her son A.  I had called her the day before to double check the appointment since it had been two weeks since the last appointment.  When we spoke on the phone she told me that her friend and support P was in the hospital.  As we waited a few minutes for our turn, I asked her how she was feeling.  She said she was not feeling good and was going to ask if she could be induced and see if the doctor could check her each week to see if she was ready.  She said she was not taking the prenatal vitamins and the iron meds because they were making her sick and vomit.  J appeared very nervous and ready to be done with this.  She told us that she was very worried about P being in the hospital, her husband working again now, her water breaking and being home alone with her son A.  I told her that she could call us and we could come and pick her up and that A could hang out with Matt and B.  She said that by the time we get there she will have probably had the baby at home.  ( We live about 25 minutes away) Once we got back in the room, we kept A company out in the hall while they did the strep test.  She didn't really bring these concerns up with the doctor so I started it a little so the doctor could maybe try to settle her worries a bit.  She basically told her that she was not going to check her that week because it was still too early and that sometimes that can stimulate her to begin labor when they mess around too much.  The doctor tried to assure her that she has plenty of people who don't deliver for hours after their water breaks.   The doctor also suggested she change to a children's vitamin with iron vs. not taking anything since she was getting so sick.  We stopped at the pharmacy to grab these for her before we left the building.  We also set up plans for her, her husband, and son to come to our house on Sunday.  (She had mentioned at the last appointment about them wanting to come down)

I talked with the case worker the next day and she had just seen J the day prior to the dr. appointment.  She agreed with Matt and I that J was very nervous this week.  P is her biggest supporter and we all think that this was the biggest factor in her nerves.  She was obviously very scared about alone when it is "go" time.  Another thing the case worker told us that J's sister told all of their family about her plan.  So far, J had only told her mom and sister ( her family all lives several states away).  She told us that J is getting a lot of pressure from her family and that she has received several calls from family she doesn't even know offering to take the baby.  I asked our case worker if she thinks that J is considering a change of heart.  They have told us from the beginning that if they ever feel like they are picking up signs that the expecting mom might be having any second thoughts, they will let us know.  The case worker said no.  She thinks she is still confident in her decision.  I asked her again to please let us know if she thinks that J might be wavering.  We all have agreed that this might be why she was so agitated and wants it to be done.  Maybe she just wants to get it over with and be able to move forward and have her family stop calling her.  I really have no idea however.  I can't begin to imagine what she is feeling or thinking during this time.

The case worker also  mentioned that they had discussed the names again- she said that J is also planning on the name being the one that we suggested at the top of our list.  We had said in our profile that we were okay with her naming the baby.  When we first met she shared 3 names with us but said she was not stuck on any of them.  That is when we shared a few of our favorites with her.  Over the past few weeks, I wanted less and less of our name and didn't care what she picked.  I know that a name does not matter in how much we will love the baby.  It was very touching to hear that she was wanting to go with one of our names.  She had told us at one of the dr. visits that she didn't like her name so we are planning to use her middle name for the baby's middle name. 

1 comment:

  1. I am feeling your nerves as I read this! I will keep you in my prayers!! Try and stay focused and positive- this is the hardest part, strike that, second hardest part. The hardest part is once the baby is born, and you leave the hospital with the baby... and the risk period starts. THAT'S the hardest part.

    I would trust your case worker and if they don't see any signs of her changing her mind... that's a good thing. Poor girl probably has a million things that she's dealing with AND add to it the pregnancy hormones... it can't be an easy time for her right now. I'll keep her in my prayers too.