Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Dr. visit

We decided that Matt would stay home and sleep since he works nights and this was going to be such a long appointment filled with waiting.  We also hoped that since it would take such a long time that she would be alone as well.  She has previously been bringing A and her friend with her.  This would be a good opportunity for us to bond / get to know each other.

As I had hoped, she was alone.  I had been so nervous about this meeting because I didn't know what I would do/ say to fill the time for so long.  The dr. had mentioned that she could bring snacks since she won't be able to eat for a while before the glucose screen.  I didn't know what she liked so I grabbed a whole bag full of stuff for her!  I know it was too much stuff, but I wanted to be sure there was stuff for her to choose from!

We went straight to the lab and she started her blood draw after just a few minutes.  They gave her the two times she needed to report back to the lab for the next draws.  We sat in the waiting area by the lab and did basic chatting.  I felt more comfortable with her.  She was pretty talkative and I learned a bit about her. We both went through our cell phone pictures and talked about those and she showed me several members of her family and pictures from her recent wedding to C.  I was really happy she shared pictures from her life with me.

Between the blood draws she had her regular doctors appointment.  The doctor said things still appeared to be good. She reminded her to be doing her kick counts each day and drink plenty of water.  J had told me while we were waiting that she had been having some contractions.  She didn't mention that to the dr. so I was sure to bring that up.  The dr. asked her where and when she was having them.  She said under her belly down low and mainly when she is standing.  (she stands all day for work) You could tell the dr. was not thinking they were contractions and said they were just her muscles stretching.  She gave her a prescription for a pregnancy belt.  After a few other reminders, she asked J about if she is talking with a counselor at our agency.  She asked her if she is talking to someone each week.  The doctor said that they have counselors available there as well if she ever wanted to talk to someone else as well.  She reminded her that this is a big decision and she wants to be sure that she is doing what she feels is best.  I think this made J uncomfortable (it made me uncomfortable just because I was there...again, feeling like a baby thief)  since it was in front of me.  As the doctor was finishing, I asked if she had the ultra sound report that she said she would have in the file for this visit.  About this time, J had to go get her blood drawn again.  The doctor said that the the report really just said unable to view the spine or lower extremities due to position of the baby.  I also brought up to the dr. about her saying that to J.  I wanted the to dr. to know that Matt and I fully support J if she has a change of heart with her adoption plan.  I told her I was okay that she said that to her and if she continues to say it to her.  I know we will have another chance if this is the not the baby in God's plan for us.  I told the dr. how I had wanted to say this to J directly but haven't had the opportunity since we had only met a few times.

Back in the waiting room for the final blood draw J started to feel light headed.  She said she had passed out when she did this with son A.  I hated that she couldn't eat anything yet!  J started to look so tired, I told her she could sleep if she wanted to and I wouldn't feel bad.  I told her I could wake her up in time for the final draw.  She said she was okay and we continued to learn more and more about each other.

After her final draw, she was finally able to have something to eat.  She chose and apple and a water (I was so proud of her!) and we headed to the pharmacy to pick up the pregnancy belt and prenatal vitamins.  I am really hoping that the belt will make her feel better, especially since she works standing up all day. 

Her next appointment is not for two weeks.  I told her I will be there and for her to call if she wants to get together before that.  I checked with her and made sure she had our numbers and that she knew she could call us anytime.


  1. Glad to know the appt went well for the Bmom and you. Your family is on my mind daily!

  2. What a long day for her (and you), but at least it's behind you guys! I'm sure it means a lot to her to have this time with you and that you're there with her.

    Adoption is so hard and most people don't "get it." Don't worry about what they think-- what matters is that she knows you're there for her, now, and when the baby is born. She knows what's best for her and for the baby, and that's really all that matters.

    I think it's wonderful that she knows she can count on you for anything. Some people don't have that with biological family, so it's wonderful that the connections are being formed for this new addition to your family orchard!!