I called the CW to see if she had heard from J. Apparently she had trouble with her phone and thought she had text me.
J was very excited to meet us on Thurs. We are meeting at the office at 3:30. She said she plans on us having some alone time with Jolie and that when J is in with us she will also be. She better be because this is what bothered us with our last visit.
Tomorrow we will say goodbye to a piece of our heart. We will hold her and kiss her. We will tell her how much we will always love and pray for her. How special she is. How much we will miss her. How much we hope her life is filled with happiness.
That is all I know so far. I don't know what I will say to J. I will keep it nice. I don't ever want to make her feel guilty for parenting.
I have thought about writing something to her to read but just not sure if I can do that. I know Matt will cry and be filled with sadness too.
I know that Friday, what was going to be our first full day with Jolie as our daughter and also my birthday, will not be filled with happiness and celebration.
:-(
ReplyDeleteIt's 4:31 and I assume your visit has just finished wherever you are. I'm thinking about you and praying that you guys can find some peace.
Just keep in mind, you have the right to be mad. You have every right to be disappointed in J and it doesn't make you a bad person at all. This wasn't like telling a friend that you'll give them your car and then changing your mind. This was a baby... and one that you grew VERY attached to and she allowed you to get attached. You have every right to be mad and angry that she changed her mind.
Yes, she has every right to choose to parent, but she also should have had some decency and respect to you guys, to share that she wasn't 100% certain. She led everyone to believe that she was going to place Jolie and then she "pulled the wool over everyone's eyes." :-(
I hope your birthday is a good one. Not the best that you'll ever have, that's for sure, but try to find a light of hope in there. You SHOULD celebrate and be happy because you DO have a great kid. This is a set-back on the road to finding your baby... and when the day comes that you DO hold your baby... this will be a blink and you'll be thankful that it made you stronger, and love deeper.
I saw go out to dinner tomorrow and go somewhere that you've always wanted to go. Splurge and eat more than you should, and then start back up on your journey.
HUGS!!!