I know I wasn't good about getting the story about our first week written. I had all intentions to do it. I was just so tired and exhausted from the stress of it all. We were busy and I still might try to write about those days.
But the last few days are more important now.
On Tuesday night J called our caseworker.
On Wednesday, the agency called us.
On Wednesday our hearts broke.
We left town to try to escape the reality that our dreams of parenting Jolie were not going to happen.
We both watched her come into this world, we named her, and I cut the cord. But we are not going to be her parents.
J has had a change of heart. Funny, the agency calls it that when our hearts are so very broken.
I will be back and it won't be super long, but I can't manage much more right now.
We left town right away and headed to a hotel for a few days to have some family time. We stopped for lunch before getting on the road to come home and it seemed all weekend we had little girls and their daddies around us.
As we watched a little girl walk in front of us sipping her soda and holding ice cream in her other hand, Matt looked at me and said,
"blue eyed blonde haired white girls just don't do it for me anymore". I broke down in tears. We love our brown skinned Jolie so very very much.