Just a quick stop in for some random things I wanted to share.
First- I'm looking forward to posting my Adoption Blogger Interview Project next week. Be sure to stop back on Wed to read my interview of my partner from More Than Dog Children.
Second- This past weekend a friend of mine (who reads this I think) was back in town with her children for a family birthday party. My family met up with her and the kids for a quick bite to eat before they headed back for their 2 hour trip home.
Her oldest and her were going to run across the road to a clothing store and get a shirt that she needed for school. We met at a Bass Pro store where I wanted to return a pair of shoes. These stores are like a mini field trip and her kids have never been in one. I said to leave the younger ones with us and that way it will be easier for them to shop.
Her son is older than B by a few years, her next youngest daughter is a few months older than B ( we were pregnant together when I started teaching) and then they have a 3 year old. My husband and the bigger kids headed in and I stopped to ask my friend a question as they were leaving the parking lot. We turned to walk towards the entrance of the store and I grabbed the little girls hand. She had one cute little fashion boots and a plastic necklace. As we walked through those doors with me holding her hand, my heart hurt a little. I want so bad to have a little girl of my own to hold her hand and do mommy things with her.
Third- last night I was with some friends and one of them mentioned something about what the date was. She said the 8th and I thought to myself, "I missed it". For the second time in a row, I missed it. J turned another month older and I didn't even think of it. I think of her everyday, but I didn't think of that on the 4th of this month or last month for that matter. That makes my heart hurt.
That is all I have for now. I am having a happy day, the post makes me sound like I am down. It was just a few things I wanted to share lately.
In a way, I think it's a sign of healing. You're not constantly sitting there thinking about what she's doing and what's going on, and so maybe you're moving forward. You're not moving on, since you'll never forget her, but moving forward is something that needs to happen eventually and maybe it's happening without you even realizing it. Or, maybe you are realizing it.
ReplyDeleteThere will always be moments that make your heart hurt. Even down the road when you're holding your child's hand (can't say if it'll be a daughter or son, but loved regardless), you'll have moments.
I think God knows the desires of your heart and He will provide when He is ready and when you're ready. Until then, stay positive and stay strong. He has a plan for your family, I just know it!!
BTW- I've never been to a Bass Pro shop. Maybe I'll have to find one and take Gus. :-)
I'm eager to read your interview... I have to post mine on Tuesday because we'll be at Disney on the 14th!