Final Homestudy Interview

We met with our adoption counselor last night for our final homestudy interview.  We met at her office and were told to plan on two hours.  Well, 3 hours and 15 minutes later.....  
I thought this was the hardest of the 3 sessions so far.  The questions were harder to answer and Matt commented on the way home that he didn't think we were prepared for all of them.  I didn't want to look up all sorts of info online about what questions might be asked because I did want our answers to be genuine.  Some of the questions asked were:
How did you meet?
How long did you date?
Where/ when/ how many people were at your wedding?
Where were you working when you started dating?
What are the joys of parenting?
What is the hardest?
What is your philosophy on parenting?
How do you discipline?
How do you handle conflict in your marriage?
How often do you have date night?
How often do you do things with your friends as a couple?
What church do you attend?
How often do you attend?
What are the goals for your marriage?
How do you think adoption is going to change your life, your marriage?
How do we feel about the openness, how does our family and friends feel?
What is our neighborhood like?
Our community?
What have we done to prepare for adoption?
What do we plan to do after the adoption to continue to grow with adoption issues?
and much much much more!!! 

I hated all of the questions!!! I hate the interview, the prying, the questions.  I wanted to scream a few times as we were sitting in the interview room how I hate all of this "application" process!!!

Matt and I went to dinner after and he thought things went good.  I am sure all of our answers were fine, I just felt exhausted after it. 

She encouraged us to get the profile in by Christmas and I told her I had the beginning of December as my goal.  We are paid up to date so as soon as our profile is in, we will be active in the pool.  This is what I have heard is the hardest part because you do nothing.  You wait. And wait.  There is no paperwork, just waiting.

Individual Interviews

Matt and I had our individual interviews last week.  Each appointment was at the office and about one hour each.  Matt had his the day before mine, so of course he filled me in on what to expect.  Our counselor told us that the hour was going to be "all about you".  It was basically a timeline of our life.  Questions like:  where were we born, where did we live, with who, where we went to school, growing up, after school, then what did you do, then what was next, then after that etc.  It was really kind of boring and not as exciting as I expected it to be. 

She asked if Matt had told me everything she asked and I said yes, but it wasn't the questions I was expecting her to ask.  She asked me what I thought she was going to talk about and I told her I thought it would be more about our spouse and marriage since we were by ourself.  She said we do talk about all of that stuff at the next interview (2 hour joint interview- final in the homestudy).  That is all done when we are both there since it takes two for a marriage we discuss it together. 

I can't remember if I mentioned this earlier but during our first training days the adoption supervisor mentioned that there were twins due December 20th.  She made the comment that if we hurry and get our profiles done, one of us might get selected by that birthmom.  When I went to my individual interview, the counselor told me that the twins had been born the night before and (only 2 lbs but both doing well) apologized because she had 3 phone calls to take during the interview.  She said they quickly showed profiles to the mom who selected a family who lived several hours away.  They were just arriving in the area as my interview was ending.  I was so excited for this family (disappointed at the chance of twins being gone, sure, I was) and how their life was changing.  What a phone call to get!  Thankfully the babies seemed to be doing well and I can't wait until we get our "call".  I just can't wait for the excitement the day will bring!

Homestudy visit #1

The house was cleaned and looking good as we waited for our caseworker to arrive.  We were scheduled for 4:30 PM and she said to plan on about 2 hours.  She said she would talk to us and to B for a little bit as well.  We told him that a lady was coming over to look at the house and see if she thought it was a good place for a baby.  We didn't really talk about anything else that she might ask ( beacause we really didn't know actually).  She started with us and we discussed our daily life schedule, what we do in the community, what we read etc.  She also asked about what we do with B and as a family etc. 

B did such a good job of playing while we were talking and when it was time for her to talk to him we called him out.  Some of his answers were so funny! We cringed at a few, but I'm sure she has heard it all from kids she interviews.  We really just laughed at what he said. 

She did the basic what grade, school and his teacher, what do you like to do type questions and then asked what he likes best about his mom and then his dad.  His answer to both was that we buy him stuff.  Nice.  Then something was said about listening and she asked if he always listens to his mom and dad.  Here is the rest of the conversation:
Do you always listen to your mom and dad?
Sometimes.
Do you ever get in trouble?
Sometimes.
What happens when you get in trouble?
I get scared. 
What do you get scared of?  (no idea where he is going with this so we are starting to laugh)
My dad. He talks mean. 

The rest of these questions she asks in  a joking tone...

Do they tape you to the wall?
no.
Do they lock you in a closet?
no.
Do they send you to your room? 
sometimes.
For how long?
a minute or an hour
Do they spank you?
no.
Do you ever get grounded?
sometimes
How long are you grounded for?
a week or a day.

Then she asked him to show her around and she toured the house.

After the tour, she checked out our shed and yard. 

The only recommendations were that we add one more smoke alarm downstairs and get a locking case for Matt's ammo (even though it is stored on a seperate floor from where the guns are).  

We were very relaxed during the visit and felt that it went fine.

We set up our appoinments for our individual interviews this next week.  These are one hour each.  She told us that these will cover more about our family, how we grew up, etc.