tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-331991072429261447.post8139777163885858734..comments2013-11-23T23:01:30.155-08:00Comments on Ala Carte Baby: The "un"official dateAmberhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14754815992773985022noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-331991072429261447.post-57143101133902653132012-06-01T11:11:59.294-07:002012-06-01T11:11:59.294-07:00:-( This hurts my heart for you.
You have EVERY r...:-( This hurts my heart for you.<br /><br />You have EVERY right to feel the way you do. I don't know if I could do it. I don't know if I'd be okay with her taking the baby for the weekend, much less a few weeks. I would (I'm just being honest about what I would do) probably say no. It probably sounds cold, but it's so emotional anyway, that adding that element on top would be too much for ME.<br /><br />As for the money-- sweetie, you don't owe her anything for her "giving" a baby to you. That's not how it works. That's why money CANNOT exchange hands... because then it's like you're buying the child and I think it's extortion on her part. I'd stay firm on the no money part. Absolutely not. You can keep offering to help with driving (if you can), but once you cross that line, you're asking for nothing but heaps and heaps of trouble.<br /><br />As for her wanting you to be apart of the life with the baby during the time that she's home with J, I think I'd be honest with her and tell her that you're not comfortable with that. It WILL be so agonizing and painful and make things a bazillion times harder than necessary if you're "hanging out" with J and her baby while waiting to become the official mom. <br /><br />I'd sit down with her (maybe this weekend before the baby comes) and tell her how you honestly feel. Tell her that you're not comfortable taking any time from her and the baby. She needs to know that while it's still her choice to do as she wishes, her decisions DO impact you and your family. Tell her that you'll be glad to do things with her once you've had time to bond with the baby, but until then, you can't be there.<br /><br />Not only will it protect you emotionally from everything, but you've got a little boy of your own to take care of and protect. He's just as vested in this situation and wants a baby sister... hanging out with J during the in-between period, would just be sending him mixed messages. <br /><br />I am sending some serious prayers that this all works out. My heart is sad for you and I pray that you find the strength to muster through these challenges. You're surely being tested and I pray that God keeps you all safe while you're enduring these trials!!!<br /><br />HUGS friend!Cat's Litterboxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15383480756748575738noreply@blogger.com